Dear Liam,

Things right now are kind of at a standstill, I was suppose to hear back for that great job on Friday, but nothing yet. Maybe they are waiting for my criminal check to come through? I guess i've partially started to accept the fact that it may not have worked out. I still have the other job option, I just hope that it all works out in the end. I really want to go to India this summer and I'm contemplating going back to the Netherlands next month. At least for a week, although I thought of doing that if I got that good job seeing as I would be away for 3 months overseas, I thought it would be the only time I might see him. If that good job did work out by some miracle It would definitely mark the end of his plans of possibly moving to Canada as I would be working overseas. It's still hard to deal with it all some days I feel great and strong and other days I feel week especially when I see that he's friended girls on facebook and I have no idea who they are or what they are all about. I guess I have this fear that he'll move onto someone else right away just like my ex. I wish i knew what was happening with me work wise, at least that way I could know what the next step in my life is...

Tomorrow I'm suppose to meet up with an old friend of mine (with benefits), I wanted to just have dinner with him, but I think he has other plans. He's definitely the kind of person you would call for a booty call, I mean Know what I'm getting myself into, I just wish he was a bit more subtle!! I guess after over a month away from him, I kind of need a bit of TLC. I know it's not healthy, but it's a nice distraction, I'm single anyway.